Airsoft

Why do you do it?

I dunno, I have a sense of obligation to the guys that run the society and the team. I like airsoft, I just don't like the organised version of it. Organised airsoft is emulating military warfare. I have a problem with that. Regular airsoft is then emulating mindless warfare, the kind of thing in Call of Duty. I have an even bigger problem with that. What am I then? Someone trying to find the closest thing to real warfare in order to catch the "thrill" of it, but selfishly neglecting joining the armed forces?

Quitting now would be turning my back on the team, and now there's the humility of the look of the thing. Do I want to leave because it doesn't come to terms with my philosophy, or because I don't want to look like a twat? As badass as I think military style is, the effect is weakened somewhat knowing that it's only airsoft.
Maybe that's it, maybe I need to see through the (somewhat childish) veneer of the whole thing. That's the reality.